Beautiful non veg sms
SIX LESSONS OF LIFE
Lession 1 Naked Wife..
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The
wife quickly wraps herself in a towel
and
runs
downstairs. When she opens the
door,
there stands
Bob, the next door neighbor. Before
she says a
word,
Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to
drop that
towel." After thinking for a
moment, the woman
drops her
towel and stands naked in front of
Bob. After a
few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars
and leaves. The woman wraps back
up in the
towel
and
goes back upstairs. When she gets
to the bathroom,
her husband asks,…"Who was that?"
"It was Bob
the next door
neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the
husband
says, "Did he say anything about the
$800 he owes
me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information
pertaining to
credit and risk with your share
holders in time, you
may be
in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.
"Lesson 2" A sales rep, an
administration clerk,
and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an
antique
oil
lamp. They rub it and a Genie
comes out. The
Genie
says,"I’ll give each of you just one
wish" "Me
first! Me
first!" says the administration clerk.
"I want to
be in
the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
without a care in the world." Poof!
She’s gone. "Me
next! Me next!"
says the sales rep. "I want to be in
Hawaii,
relaxing on
the beach with my personal
masseuse, an endless
supply of Pina Coladas and the love
of
my life."
Poof!
He’s gone. "OK, you’re up," the
Genie says
to the manager. The manager says,
"I want
those two
back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your
boss
have the first
say. "Lesson 3"
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She
got in
and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown
to reveal a leg.
The
priest nearly had an accident. After
controlling
the
car, he stealthily slid his hand up
her leg. The
nun
said, "Father, remember Psalm
129?" The
priest removed his hand. But,
changing gears,
he let his
hand slide up her leg again. The nun
once
again
said,
"Father, remember Psalm 129?" The
priest apologized
"Sorry sister but the flesh is weak"
Arriving at
the
convent, the nun went on her way.
On
his arrival at the church, the priest
rushed to look up
Psalm
129. It said, "Go forth and seek,
further
up, you
will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not
well informed
in your
job, you might miss a great
opportunity.
"Lesson 4" A crow was sitting on a
tree, doing
nothing all day. A
rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like
you and do
nothing all day long?" The crow
answered: "Sure, why not." So, the
rabbit sat on the
ground
below the
crow, and rested....A fox jumped on
the rabbit
and ate it. Moral of the story: To be
sitting and
doing
nothing,
you must be sitting very high up
"Lesson 5: Power of Charisma" A
turkey was chatting with a bull "I
would love
to be
able to get to the top of that tree,"
sighed the
turkey,
"but I haven’t got the energy."
"Well, why don’t you
nibble on my droppings?” replied
the
bull.
"They’re
packed with nutrients." The turkey
pecked at a
lump of dung and found that it gave
him enough
strength
to reach the lowest branch of the
tree.
The next day,
after eating some more dung, he
reached
the second
branch. Finally after a fourth night,
there
he was proudly perched at the top
of the tree.
Soon he
was
spotted by a farmer, who shot the
turkey out of
the tree. Moral of the story: Bullshit
might get you
to the
top,
but it wont keep you there.
"Lesson 6" A little bird was flying
south for the winter. It
was so
cold the bird froze and fell to the
ground
into a
large
field. While he was lying there, a
cow came by and
dropped some dung on him. As the
frozen bird
lay
there in the pile of cow dung, he
began to
realize how warm he was. The dung
was
actually
thawing him out! He lay there all
warm
and happy, and soon
began to sing for joy. A passing cat
heard
the bird
singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat
discovered the bird under
the
pile of
cow dung, and promptly dug him
out and ate
him. Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is
your
enemy.
2. Noteveryone who gets you out of
shit
is your friend 3. And when you’re in
deep shit, it’s best
to keep
your
mouth shut !
😃😄😁😆😅😂🤣🤣
_____________________________________
_____________________________________
_____________________________________
Ek darya k kinare 2 sardar chamchay se darya main dahi
dal rahay thay..
Pathan ne dekha to pocha: Khoocha yeh
kiya kerhy ho....???
Sardar : Hum lassi bana rahay hain
Pathan: hahaha...
O pagal ka bacha log islye tum per latifa banaty hain..Itni lassi
tumhara baap piye ga😃😁😅😂🤣
_____________________________________
_____________________________________
_____________________________________
Lady: Do you smoke?
Man: Yes
Lady: How many packs a day?
Man: 3 packs
Lady: How much per pack
Man: £10.00
Lady: And how long have you
been smoking?
Man: 15 years
Lady: So 1 pack cost £10.00 and
you have 3 packs a day which
puts your spending each month
at £900. In one year, it would be
£10,800 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: If in 1 year you spend
£10,800 not accounting for
inflation, the past 15 years puts
your spending at £162,000
correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: Do you know that if you
hadn't smoked, that money could
have been put in a step-up
interest savings account and after
accounting for compound interest
for the past 15 years, you could
have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you smoke?
Lady: No
Man: Where's your Ferrari
then?
😃😄😁😆😅😂🤣🤣
SIX LESSONS OF LIFE
Lession 1 Naked Wife..
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The
wife quickly wraps herself in a towel
and
runs
downstairs. When she opens the
door,
there stands
Bob, the next door neighbor. Before
she says a
word,
Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to
drop that
towel." After thinking for a
moment, the woman
drops her
towel and stands naked in front of
Bob. After a
few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars
and leaves. The woman wraps back
up in the
towel
and
goes back upstairs. When she gets
to the bathroom,
her husband asks,…"Who was that?"
"It was Bob
the next door
neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the
husband
says, "Did he say anything about the
$800 he owes
me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information
pertaining to
credit and risk with your share
holders in time, you
may be
in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.
"Lesson 2" A sales rep, an
administration clerk,
and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an
antique
oil
lamp. They rub it and a Genie
comes out. The
Genie
says,"I’ll give each of you just one
wish" "Me
first! Me
first!" says the administration clerk.
"I want to
be in
the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
without a care in the world." Poof!
She’s gone. "Me
next! Me next!"
says the sales rep. "I want to be in
Hawaii,
relaxing on
the beach with my personal
masseuse, an endless
supply of Pina Coladas and the love
of
my life."
Poof!
He’s gone. "OK, you’re up," the
Genie says
to the manager. The manager says,
"I want
those two
back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your
boss
have the first
say. "Lesson 3"
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She
got in
and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown
to reveal a leg.
The
priest nearly had an accident. After
controlling
the
car, he stealthily slid his hand up
her leg. The
nun
said, "Father, remember Psalm
129?" The
priest removed his hand. But,
changing gears,
he let his
hand slide up her leg again. The nun
once
again
said,
"Father, remember Psalm 129?" The
priest apologized
"Sorry sister but the flesh is weak"
Arriving at
the
convent, the nun went on her way.
On
his arrival at the church, the priest
rushed to look up
Psalm
129. It said, "Go forth and seek,
further
up, you
will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not
well informed
in your
job, you might miss a great
opportunity.
"Lesson 4" A crow was sitting on a
tree, doing
nothing all day. A
rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like
you and do
nothing all day long?" The crow
answered: "Sure, why not." So, the
rabbit sat on the
ground
below the
crow, and rested....A fox jumped on
the rabbit
and ate it. Moral of the story: To be
sitting and
doing
nothing,
you must be sitting very high up
"Lesson 5: Power of Charisma" A
turkey was chatting with a bull "I
would love
to be
able to get to the top of that tree,"
sighed the
turkey,
"but I haven’t got the energy."
"Well, why don’t you
nibble on my droppings?” replied
the
bull.
"They’re
packed with nutrients." The turkey
pecked at a
lump of dung and found that it gave
him enough
strength
to reach the lowest branch of the
tree.
The next day,
after eating some more dung, he
reached
the second
branch. Finally after a fourth night,
there
he was proudly perched at the top
of the tree.
Soon he
was
spotted by a farmer, who shot the
turkey out of
the tree. Moral of the story: Bullshit
might get you
to the
top,
but it wont keep you there.
"Lesson 6" A little bird was flying
south for the winter. It
was so
cold the bird froze and fell to the
ground
into a
large
field. While he was lying there, a
cow came by and
dropped some dung on him. As the
frozen bird
lay
there in the pile of cow dung, he
began to
realize how warm he was. The dung
was
actually
thawing him out! He lay there all
warm
and happy, and soon
began to sing for joy. A passing cat
heard
the bird
singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat
discovered the bird under
the
pile of
cow dung, and promptly dug him
out and ate
him. Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is
your
enemy.
2. Noteveryone who gets you out of
shit
is your friend 3. And when you’re in
deep shit, it’s best
to keep
your
mouth shut !
😃😄😁😆😅😂🤣🤣
_____________________________________
_____________________________________
_____________________________________
Ek darya k kinare 2 sardar chamchay se darya main dahi
dal rahay thay..
Pathan ne dekha to pocha: Khoocha yeh
kiya kerhy ho....???
Sardar : Hum lassi bana rahay hain
Pathan: hahaha...
O pagal ka bacha log islye tum per latifa banaty hain..Itni lassi
tumhara baap piye ga😃😁😅😂🤣
_____________________________________
_____________________________________
_____________________________________
Lady: Do you smoke?
Man: Yes
Lady: How many packs a day?
Man: 3 packs
Lady: How much per pack
Man: £10.00
Lady: And how long have you
been smoking?
Man: 15 years
Lady: So 1 pack cost £10.00 and
you have 3 packs a day which
puts your spending each month
at £900. In one year, it would be
£10,800 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: If in 1 year you spend
£10,800 not accounting for
inflation, the past 15 years puts
your spending at £162,000
correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: Do you know that if you
hadn't smoked, that money could
have been put in a step-up
interest savings account and after
accounting for compound interest
for the past 15 years, you could
have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you smoke?
Lady: No
Man: Where's your Ferrari
then?
😃😄😁😆😅😂🤣🤣
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